


I Forgot

by serendipityspeaks



Series: Short Stories [2]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Character Study, Feels, Sad, Short, Short Story, inside a character's head
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-07-19 05:03:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19968475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/serendipityspeaks/pseuds/serendipityspeaks
Summary: A sort of journal entry or introspective conversation.





	I Forgot

**Author's Note:**

> Just a quick thing I wrote on tumblr. The writing equivalent of a sketch, I suppose. Something small to get more inside the head of a character that might be sad.

You asked me two days ago how I was doing. You’re my friend, one of the few who wouldn’t just ask to be nice. I wanted to tell you how I was. Say that I am lonely, that I’m restless, I feel snowed under, that I’m sorry I forgot to come to dinner it wasn’t you…

But…

I forgot how, and I didn’t answer your text.

When I was in my twenties, I could have long, soulful conversations deep into the night. I could talk about myself, I could listen, I could open. I did many times to you, it’s why we’re friends. 

I’ve known you for more than a decade now. You’re married and you have kids and your amazing wife is sick, just a temporary thing, but it’s a thing and I think, well, it’s more important. Your family is more important than my loneliness. 

It doesn’t help me remember how to get out from behind this wall. 

Does anyone care about me? Not just a little but a lot? How do people see me? Do I make a impact? Am I more than just a passing thought?

The rest of humanity is behind a glass wall. I exist, but I don’t participate. Over the years I’ve atrophied. I forgot how to reach out. I thought I wouldn’t need to. I was so hurt. I entered my dotage early, inflicting isolation on myself so I could lick unrelated wounds, and it became so hard to maintain connection. 

So I forgot. Little by little. Now I’m disappearing. Little by little. Wishing I knew how to break through the glass, wanting to talk about what’s going on inside, wanting to tell you that no, I’m not ok, but I could be if I could just tell you…tell anyone. 

I wish I could remember how to be human. 


End file.
